Looking after yourself

I wanted to take a little break from writing about the pelvic floor to focus on the theme of ‘Looking after yourself’.   This is always a super important thing to do and in my experience something that a lot of women struggle with (and men too!).  From a woman’s perspective, my observation in the women I treat (a lot of whom are mothers) is that they put the welfare of others before their own welfare.  I don’t just see this in mothers; I see it in teachers/nurses/therapists – a lot of the ‘caring’ professions that commonly attract women.  

My journey

So for myself it’s been a long journey of growing wisdom to come to the place where I am really pretty good at looking after myself. I don’t think it came particularly instinctively when I was younger but with age I am getting better at it. I follow some spiritual teachings and ‘Look after yourself so that you can look after others’ is one of the key tenets of these teachings. I think this is a wholly important and much underrated teaching and it takes away any thought that I’m somehow being selfish by taking care of myself and putting my own needs first. I love being a mum and I love being a therapist caring for others but I also know I am much better at both of these roles when I am feeling physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually in balance. In fact, the more I do to care for myself and feel good, the more overflow I have to serve others.  Really nourishing and caring for myself helps to fill my coffers – it takes me to a place of abundance from which I can share. 

Give yourself permission

So if ‘putting my own needs first’ sound like dirty words to you – somehow you feel that you can’t give yourself full permission – take some time to look inwards and listen to the voice which says that it is not ok. Signs that maybe you’ve got some work to do in this area are:

• you’re tired a lot of the time
• you always say yes or you find it hard to say no even when it doesn’t feel good
• you’re in pain and just putting up with it
• you feel like you never have enough time
• you feel like there is a scarcity of resources (time/money/love are common ones)
• you feel a disconnect between your outer world that and your inner world
• you’re feeling anxious or down

I also experience many of these feelings –  they are clear signs to me that I need to focus on my own internal world and look after myself.  It can be very easy to focus on what’s wrong in the outer world and in our relationships and time and again I am reminded that doing my own inner work is where the balm is. This is a particularly challenging year for us all – we continue to live in uncertainty. In the UK we’re about to enter another lockdown and we’ve all been affected in some way. And that is all the more reason we need to be really on it with our own self care and make sure our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs are being met.

Taking care of ‘you’

1. ‘Hands on’ treatment – Top of my list for things I don’t put up with are pain!  Not to say that if I’m in pain I try to mask it with painkillers. I’m quite averse to taking painkillers of any sort as I don’t believe they have an overall positive effect on my health. I would always prefer a a naturopathic approach where I know my overall health and vitality is going to benefit. I love hands on treatment – touch has such a powerful healing effect and is balm on so many levels.  Osteopathy is my ‘go to’ but I love massage (in particular shiatsu and ayuvedic massage and thai yoga massage). I also love acupuncture. I go for treatment for both symptomatic treatment and also preventative well being.
2. Water – The healing effects of water are amazing for self care.  I used to live in Germany and the Kur Spas there were amazing and I really miss them! Living in London and being nowhere near the sea, I very much miss the healing properties of the sea. My next best is an epsom salt bath which I love for its healing effects. I like to add some essential oils or light a beautiful scented candle.
3. Get out in nature -Getting out in nature is so important – it’s particularly important at this time of year in the UK to get sunlight exposure to boost vitamin D levels. Just being out in the natural world has such a wonderful counter effect to all the electromagnetism we are exported to on a daily basis. I am loving my walks and runs in our nearby Epping Forest – the Autumnal colours feel very soothing on the eye and I feel very lucky to live in a big city yet to have such an ancient oak forest on our doorstep. I went for a lovely walk on Saturday; it was dusk as we came to the end of the walk and we were lucky enough to have a huge bright full moon rise above the horizon before us – little things like this are amazing for feeling a connection to something bigger than ourselves. One of my favourite activities down in Wales is stargazing – the night sky is so clear down there it always astounds me.  
4. Seasonal cleanse – I’m doing a seasonal cleanse as part of my self care at the moment. As the seasons change, so do our nutritional needs and it’s a perfect time to do a cleanse. I have just started an Ayurvedic seasonal cleanse with the amazing Clare Bannister from Lotus Yoga studio – it’s a nutritional and lifestyle cleanse that helps to balance your ‘Doshas’. This has many elements but one key is to become more aware of what you are eating and drinking and doing on a daily basis. This helps you to notice the effects when you then introduce herbs, foods and drinks which are balancing for your type and the season.  Cutting out stimulants such as caffeine, sugar and alcohol is an important part of this cleanse.
5. Meditate and ‘tune in’ – Take time out for meditation, Yin yoga, afternoon naps or simply daydreaming. I love to feel that I have some space at some point in my day to slow right down and tune in. To have moments where I don’t feel busy, don’t have something to do, am not worrying about anything – I’m just enjoying being in the moment.  This is something I have to work at, as my root pattern is one that would fill the time with busyness. I have to work on cultivating this part of me that allows space and time in my life. But the more I do it, the more I enjoy having this space in my life and the calmer I feel inside. 
6. Take a moment – As we enter yet another lockdown in the UK and external work feels uncertain, I feel like I need to focus on moving towards the things that give me pleasure and joy in my life to keep me on track. So take a moment and think what is it that helps you to feel radiant, calm and centred and find space each day for that in your life. 

I hope you find these ideas useful and do get in touch with me if you have any questions. Please subscribe to my newsletter using the ‘Keep up to date’ form below, if you would like to get more news on women’s health, future blogs, workshops and programs. 

Rebecca x