I am writing this for everyone but particularly for those women who are currently pregnant. The uncertainty and change that surrounds us at the moment is affecting each of us in very different ways. I really want to reach out and provide support to the pregnant women out there, many of whom will be feeling things acutely at the moment.
I have talked to several pregnant women over the last week and there have been common themes of feeling cut off, isolated, fearful and uncertain. My aim is to give you some practical tools to help you manage what is within your sphere of influence: your thoughts and feelings.
The fear response
Let’s start with looking briefly at what goes on in the brain when we move into a fear response. When we feel fear we activate the part of the brain called the amygdala and when fear is overwhelming, something called the ‘amygdala hijack’ happens. The amygdala is part of the primal brain called the limbic system and is key for processing strong emotions, like fear and pleasure. When you are threatened, the amygdala automatically activates the fight-or-flight or freeze response which floods the body with stress hormones. When the amygdala is highly activated, the frontal lobes and the prefrontal cortex (a part of the brain which developed later in evolutionary terms and is involved in rational thought and decision making) gets switched off, and our attention fixates on the ‘threat’. The result of this, is that we can end up responding in ways that are irrational/illogical and you can’t think clearly.
The other side to this is that this area of the brain also has a high concentration of receptors to oxytocin, the bonding ‘love hormone.’ Pleasurable actions which trigger the release of oxytocin will diminish our fearful responses. In most women, levels of oxytocin rise from the first to the third trimester of pregnancy and then have the ability to surge during labour. Oxytocin has a protective mechanism which allows us to override a stress response and to create bonds of love and to care for our children. So how can we encourage the brain to move consciously from a fear-based stress response to an oxytocin driven response? I’ve compiled some practical tips to help.
My tips
1. Don’t give yourself a hard time
We can be masters at giving ourselves a hard time, at judging ourselves and projecting our fears into the future. Try to catch yourself doing this and notice what is going on with your thought processes at that moment. The simple act of observation and awareness helps to shift the brain out of that hijacked place.
2. Do one thing
Ask yourself “Am I feeling safe and secure in this moment?” If the answer is ‘no’ then ask yourself “What one thing can I do practically today to feel more of this?” Then act on it.
3. Don’t block out thoughts or feelings, just change your focus
If we are feeling overwhelmed, we can feel that we just need to block things out and numb ourselves. Rather than thinking of blocking out, which leads to reduced awareness and disconnection with our bodies, think instead about consciously changing your focus. For instance, “I am aware of feeling isolated from my family at the moment but I choose to put my focus in this moment on feeling a connection with my baby.” This is a subtle differentiation but an important one, which allows you to connect with all that you are feeling and helps to maintain the flow of your energy.
4. Tune in to your body
Bringing your attention to the body brings you more into the moment. Spending even just a minute tuning into your body gives you valuable information about your sensations – this helps us to be more in tune with ourselves and to shift out of mental states to a more connected whole state. If we are feeling very stressed initially, this ‘tuning in’ can feel uncomfortable; try to gently persist with it and you will notice sensations start to move and shift. Simple processes like body tracking can help with this – start with your head and work down towards your feet, spending a few moments gently focusing into and sensing each area, noticing what you feel. And I have just been introduced to a technique called “self-havening” from the lovely Maya Midwifes (www.mayamidwifes.com) which is a lovely, very easy to use technique involving soothing stroking of your upper arms or face – there are various videos online showing you how to use this method.
5. Tune in to pleasure
Spend time each day consciously giving yourself space to feel pleasure and joy – it could be the smallest of things but really be fierce in practicing this. Each act of pleasure and joy is a training for your brain to reduce stress levels and enhance oxytocin pathways; this will build your resilience to stress. Think of this as essential homework. I really like and can highly recommend the work of Sheila Kumara Hay (www.ecstatic-birth.com) who has some great resources available.
6. Move your body
Movement really helps to shift energy in the body and allows us to feel joy and pleasure. Move in a way that feels good to you – that could be dancing to some of your favourite music with your eyes closed, taking a walk outside in the sunshine, or doing some delicious fluid stretches which just feel good. The key here is that it needs to feel good, so just feel in to whatever that is in your body.
7. Tune in to baby
Baby is a source of enormous strength and resilience for you – tune in to baby and bring your conscious focus onto coherence with baby. Remember, you have a resilient and spirited soul growing inside of you – bringing your focus here will bring you into the present and wondrous moment. If this makes you feel very emotional then that’s ok; let the emotions flow and maybe work through some of the above steps.
8. Practice Hypnobirthing breathing
Hypnobirthing is invaluable and provides you with so many great tools for birthing and for preparing for birth. The breathing is an amazing tool for centring and aligning. You might have some great tracks already from your hypnobirthing provider – if not, I can highly recommend the hypnobirthing tracks available from thehypnobirthingmidwife.co
9. Reach out for support
Reach out to and connect with those who you know can hold a safe space and support you in your journey through pregnancy, during labour and afterwards. Those people who help you to feel more present and centred. Maybe that’s in the form of a doula, an independent midwife, great breastfeeding support or a pregnancy specialist bodyworker.
Video consultations now available!
Although I am not currently seeing clients face-to-face, I am able to offer video consultations. The aim of these consultations is to hold a space for you, to help you better understand any sensations/pain you have been experiencing and to assist you in shifting physical or emotional blocks that are ready to be released.
For pregnant women I also offer a birth preparation session to help prepare you energetically for the birthing process – this I now also offer as a video consultation. We will work on clearing anything that is coming up for you in relation to the birth and preparing you for the birth process with a tool I call “Birth Energy Flow”. I offer this from 38 weeks gestation.
Video consultations can be booked through www.rebeccadaviesost.com/appointments and I’m offering free 15 minute consultations at the moment for any new patients who would like to ask questions beforehand.
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Rebecca x
